Monday, April 4, 2011

I miss being told to fuck off in bible lingo...

You know what I miss about Detroit today?

People telling me to "Have a Blessed Day" when what they really mean to say is "You're a worthless piece of shit who even Jesus has to work at loving and who is really not worth anybody's time, particularly my fuckyou."

Y'all know what I'm talking about.

How it's pronounced "Have a Blesst Day!" How Blesst and Day are both given the same amount of emphasis. So if you were to scan would get:

   /     -    /         /
Have a Blesst Day!

A trochaic opening with a great spondee finish! What better way to tell someone off with Christian altruistic flare. The perfect resolution to any argument. To any altercation that might otherwise inspire hostilities, or rile a good old-fashioned, secular beatdown. Such conflicts are surrendered to the lyric of the emergency-glass blessing.

"Oh, you gonna' interrupt me while I'm still talking? You have a Blesst Day!" which ends conversation. Have a Blesst Day always ends conversations that might otherwise get out of divinely inspired control.

"I don't think you know who you're talking to. Have a Blesst Day!" ...

...and scene.

Ah, home sweet home.

1 comment:

trashmaster46 said...

That is awesome. I hadn't ever thought about it quite like that before.