Monday, January 11, 2010

(eggs overeasy) The Teeny Bopper Job

Part of the beauty of getting older is that you're old. You just don't have the patience for things you used to have patience for. If you see a circle you don't fit in, you don't really spend a whole lot of time trying to shove your square parts into it. You know the drill. You know there are likely one of two outcomes:

A) You get all your square parts into the pi hole, only to realize you've shaved off something you really kinda' liked about yourself. or needed to reproduce children.

or...

B) You never fit in in the cakehole anyway, and everyone jeers you for being 'fat'.

Neither of these sound very good, so you just quit. The job. The relationship. The neighborhood. Who has the energy?

The teeny bopper job might be ok for awhile. Until one day you come in and everyone is gossiping about everyone else. And nothing is sacred. Not other people's 'employee profiles', not their love lives. Nothing. And then....

...you're right back in high school. That big black laughing hole. That even your teeny-tiny little square body could never fit into. And spent alot of days banging its head against the huge, black, inky walls trying to get in. And so...

... you quit. Something you couldn't really do in high school. Or in the neighborhood you grew up in. Or in your own mirror, sometimes as a kid, how much you wanted to. And so I know...

the 'healthy, progressive' answer here may involve the suggestion to work through such moments and find a way to bring the team forward and all, given your maturity and your ability to lead....but then, that's the best thing about teeny bopper jobs...

you can just quit. no pension gone. no organized projects to frail at the edges. no annual events that won't come off under your direction. no slack that people wouldn't be happy to work a double to pick up cause everyone wants more hours anyway.

you can just quit. and without the guilt, quitting feels so fucking good.

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