Wednesday, May 20, 2009

reflection

today i looked out the window and realized nobody is listening. by that i mean...

... there was a face looking back at me. a face - which looked unconnected to its body, through the leaves and the bbq grill grating and the porch fencing. a face that took on the look of kabuki. sat wafting and golden and removed from my room and my 60 watt bulbs and my bedding. i thought i might wave to the face and it might lift off and drift away into the settling blue afternoon and the summer night birds.

but the face stared back at me. and i looked away and looked back. and looked away and looked back. the face had large flat eyebrows and it did not smile and it did not laugh. and it did not look away.

and i looked away and looked back and lifted another fork of food while i stared at the face. then...

... she got up and went back into her apartment.

across the way. she lives in the apartment where the old man used to sit on his porch for hours and never look my way, it was like looking at a pond of leaves that coughed from time to time and the leaves scattered.

for months. i walked naked through my house and sat naked with the door open. he never looked this way once. cataonic coughing pond.

then he disappeared.

now, she sat there leaned into my window. nothing dividing us but screen and cat and leaves and the dropoff of stories between our porches. her face could be in my room.

unblinking.
unapologetic.
masked...

but unfettered.

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