bunny day

today the wind was cold and the sun looked alot like a snowball and i wonder sometimes about the nature of alliance.

there are lots of people who sit together in the bar who won't sit together in the coming days. they'll get up under each other's skin. they'll lose interest. the sex will run out of new tricks. they'll move. one of them will die. another will become a heroin addict. they'll cheat. they'll find out the other one is gay. one of them will go broke. that's not really very interesting. the spectrum of reasons why people leave one another.

it's more interesting - why people stay. when they lose interest. when they annoy each other and fight until there are holes in the wall and plates broken and black eyes. when the sex gets tired and dull. when one of them moves to another city in another time zone. when one of them becomes a heroin addict. when they can no longer promise grandchildren. when there's no money left.

people stay. or they leave and come back. or they say everyday for the rest of their lives...

one day, i'm gonna' pack my shit and you're never gonna' see me again.

or they say.

i'm with you no matter what. i'm with you until the end.

and all the variations in between. there's really no wrong or right. no family formula. no definition for family. i've been thinking about it for months now. a definition...

for family. i thought for awhile it had something to do with whether or not you leave. or what you put up with. or blood. or what you're willing to do for someone. or if you can count on someone. or permanence...i mean.

can someone be your family one day...
and not the next?

i haven't figured it out yet. but, it's easter. and i've got a few people on my mind.